Living.

Currently Listening To: 21 by Adele
Current Location: The couch with a cuppa hot cider

This month has been especially difficult. In this month, I have watched life grow and also reflected on the loss of a life. Life is always a variable. We never know what is going to happen. Last night, I was talking with two dear parental figures of mine when one of them stated that there are only three constants in life; Death, Taxes and Change. Haha. I find that extremely funny because my dad is an accountant, so I was born after tax season ended (to my father's elation), my life has been full of changes and unfortunately I have also had to experience death. As much as we like to avoid it, we know the inevitable end of life. It is as if we are reading a novel to a certain point only knowing the last sentence of the last chapter. That. Is. Life. The prologue is based off the biggest decision made in the chapters of the novel; if you chose heaven or hell. But enough of that analogy. Let's get down to brass tacks here.
Life holds a promise; to constantly be unexpected and full of surprises. Three years ago, I received the biggest upset possible for me. My tables turned on an early March afternoon as I heard my mom say that she had a year to live. God gave my world a bit of a shaking with those words. Within a few weeks, my heart was filled with agony as I watched my mom slowly leave this world for a better place. Instead of a year, I was given less than a month. As painful as that was, I know it was for the best. As remarkable as mom was and even though there are a million and one things I want to share with her; I know she is so much better off. She no longer has to deal with the pains of cancer, the heartaches of life and the sin of this world. She is free and with her Creator.
A verse that stuck with me through her dying was "To live is Christ, to die is gain" -Philippians 1:21.  For so long, I only vaguely understood the verse for its full worth. Life is like Christ. Christ suffered. He endured the agonizing pain of all our sin. He endured the ridicule of us. He endured the mockery, the contempt, the jealousy, the downright awful behavior of this world. So "to live is Christ", is coping with the pains that life holds. To watch it fall apart, to lose someone or something, or even losing everything. Yet, there is promise in that verse. Christ performed miracles in His time on earth. We saw miracles. We even see miracles today. We can see it in birth, love, laughter, sunsets and sunrises, nature, and those moments when words can't describe how perfect something is. THAT is God giving us a glimpse of heaven. It is God's reminder to us to have faith, to trust in Him when there are sufferings in life. With those moments in life, God shows us a glimpse of why the challenges of life are worth it. Even though they break us at the moment, bringing us to our knees; it gives God the opportunity to pick us back up and tell us that even though it hurts and we don't understand; He has great plans for us and that we will understand once we finish. Then there is the final part of the verse, "to die is gain". Death is leaving all the pains of this world behind, and finally having an eternity of breathtaking moments. To see God, to understand and to be surrounded by perfection.